Monday, May 6, 2013

Walking Tall, How to walk in heels


How to walk in heels
I have seldom met a shoe I did not love. And I mean LOVE. I have loved the artistic architectural fashion wonders that elevate our stature, elongate our legs, lift our butts and puts a switch in our steps forever. Since the first time I put my 5 years old foot in my mother’s taupe high heeled men’s tailored lace-up oxfords.  I was hooked even though I didn't understand what a heel did for the female form I did understood that high heels, pumps, stilettos...  they were all incredible gifts to femininity, they made a little girl feel like a big girl and a woman feel like a lady. I could not wait until my mother and grandmother agreed that I had reached that magical age when I could done my first pair of 2 inch black patent leather Mary-Janes.  It was then I understood my grandmother’s correction of my “hard walking” in my lil’ girl dress shoes. “Big girls done walk so hard. Let the boys stomp, you step.” But walking in my heels I understood my steps were to be careful and not exaggerated.  There are rules to this lady thing.  As I watch women show off their shoe game, I realize not everyone had my grandmother.  Not every little girl was prepped by reminders to not walk so hard and let the boys stomp. Or stand up straight. Or to stop pushing her behind up in the air. Or to stop leaning so far forward when I walked all of me should get there at the same time. Here are some other rules for walking like a lady in heels.
If the shoe fits… Rule 1: Start with a good fit
The first thing you must do to get your strut right is getting a proper fit. No matter how high or how low the heel the fit is everything.  A shoe that gaps, flops or slips will negatively affect your posture, balance and is more likely to rub blisters and calluses. Not to mention the potential falls. Shoes that pinch or bind can make stepping out in that killer shoe, absolute murder. Your foot should fit comfortably. (and I admit that this is a relative term) You should have a fairly even distribution of pressure on the whole foot. You should be moderately on the ball of the foot with some support at the arch and heel. If you feel like you are constantly on your tiptoes, that shoe is not your friend. Do not wear it again. The heel and shank should feel stable and solid not wobbly. Yes, this takes ankle strength and balance but it also takes solid well-made shoes. (Don’t confuse solid or well-made with expensive. Well-made and good fit can be found at varying price points.) The heels should be well attached to the shoe, no collapsing at the arch or unusual curvatures. Your toes should not feel as though they are being forced into a fist. You actually want enough room to spread your toes a bit for added balance.
Get low… Rule 2: Do not start too high
It took you months to learn to walk, years to perfect your stride; what makes you think you can strut in 5 inch spiked heeled peep-toed stilettos simply by slipping them onto your foot?  If you are new to the shoe game, start out low. Understand what the slightest inclination means to your ankles, calves, knees, hips and back. How does it affect your posture? Can you stand up straight? Are you toddling so much that you are suffering from motion sickness?  Then come down until you find your balance and are confident in your stride. There is no shame in a 1-2 inch kitten heel, think Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face. The tapered footing of this small wonder forces you to sway your hips and hold your posture just so, centering your spin, hips, knees and ankles, it does take short deliberate steps and balance to avoid tittering and twisting your ankle.
 Learning to sashay like a catwalk diva in 3 inches or more is about careful foot placement not striking the floor to exaggerate the heels on the floor. You should cross one thigh just slightly in front of the other to keep your stride feminine instead of widening the hips and looking to masculine. Hold you posture upright head up shoulders back and no looking like the daring young woman on the high wire trying to catch your balance with out-stretched arms.  Stroll, take it slow, you are not racing to get there first you are strutting to be seen. I know this seems like a lot to remember in a your stride across the floor but with practice like all things it will come naturally.
Practice makes perfect. Rule 3: The best way to learn
Practicing on the right surface makes a huge difference as well, hard wood, ceramic tiles, concrete,  vinyl, carpeting… they each feel differently and learning on carpet only will not at all prepare you for strutting your stuff down the street. When first learning to tackle any heel, new shoe, new heel height or new sole start on a hard surface but practice on as many surface options as possible.   Practice stops, starts, changing directions, climbing stairs even just standing still. Make sure you are able to maintain straight upright posture with straight legs and no hunching forward. It may feel like you are balancing but tilting forward or forcing your behind out or even slight bends in the knees can lead to possible injury.
When all else fails… Smile Rule 4: Confidence is key
Starting with a good foundation and solid technique is all any of us needs to best insure success and enjoyment in most activities. When hot stepping your stilettos you need one more thing. Confidence, it separates the amateurs from the pros. Imagine walking in with your head high, assured in each stride grabbing attention and reaping all the benefits of a great pair of heels, elevating your stature, elongating your legs, lifting your buttocks and putting a switch in your steps. That doesn't happen with shrinking violets.
Don’t be a slave to fashion Rule 5: Know what you can work
Now, I caution you, a pro knows her limits. If you are fabulous in 3 inches, Great!  But if you feel that 4 inches is nose-bleed territory and you are getting dizzy; well come on back down and own the heck out of your 3. Stumbling and stomping is never attractive, just because 5 inches is “in” does not mean you trade in your graceful stride or seriously dangerous strut for a less confident gait. We all have our limits I can kill 5 inches but half and inch more and I can’t even stand.  Trust spiked, block, wedge, platform in 2 inches or 6 shoes like us come in all shapes and sizes and all are beautiful.
SN: Men love what heels do to our physiques, they have no care for trends. On trend and tittering gets you pity but confidence in a classic gets you attention. My best attention getters are the 5 years old 5 inch sculpted heeled strappy beauties that make even other women notice. 

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Holding On to Hangs Ups

I love technology. I am not a hardcore techno-geek but I do love technology. I enjoy my cell phone, for what it is a communication tool. That said I have many friends who are annoyed or maybe baffled by my...unwillingness to answer each and every call when it is made. I do not sit continuously with my phone resting in the space between my shoulder and my ear. I can sit and enjoy the company of my friends during a meal, and can work through my business day without answering the random "Hey girl, whatcha doin?" At 10 AM on a week day, I am working why aren't you?



I may be dating myself here but I am amongst the generation that does remember life before cell phones and texting. I remember when you told someone where you were heading and took change to make a phone call, "just in case..." I remember pagers beeping as ques to make contact with your friends and family. Now, you can't pray in church without hearing the varied and sometime less than appropriate ring tones and even worse the answering of the phone.



I was in a grocery store one late evening after work while standing on aisle 9 and I realized that the one sided very explicit conversation myself and every other shopper was over hearing was coming from a young woman on aisle 3. We all stood in amazement and disguised as we tried ignore the conversation none of us should have been privy to in the first place. I finally went on a mission to find the young woman and make her aware of the tone and volume of her call. She looked put off by me and told me to mind my business. When I pointed out I was doing just that on aisle 9 when she began her call and that I came to help her. She stepped out of the aisle and saw the crowd of on lookers but she shamelessly did not end her call or change her topic or volume.



A Modern Lady understands the tool and its usefulness. She incorporates it properly in her life. Never does she become such a slave to the tool that she becomes insulting, inconsiderate,selfish or unaware of the rest of the world around her. I am sick of the person in front of me at Target not being able to finalize her transaction because of the phone call she has refused to end since she cut me off in the parking lot. Or the diner in a restaurant who leaves her companion to virtually eat alone because she won't hang up the phone. We have all been there...and maybe we have even been that person selfishly engaging in their phone conversations but a Moder Lady most learn to develop some rules when it comes to technology.

The first being somethings are best not said in public. The second rule is you don't have to answer every invitation, this one is actually a great one for life in general. Thirdly, don't become such a slave to your phone that you can not talk to anyone without it.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Diva Chronicles: Rules for a Modern Lady

OK, so you are asking what do I mean when I say Rules for a Modern Lady? These writings are inspired by both frustration and hope. The frustration with the attitude that holds to many talented intelligent women back. "You have to take me as I am?" No dear, no one has to take you as you are. It is not enough that you have acquired and possibly perfected great talents. You must also understand how to present yourself, then you talents. You can not demonstrate any of your skills unless you gain my attention in a trust-worthy way.



What do I mean by trust-worthy? Lets say you invited me for dinner and upon arrival I am greeted by you standing over the corpse of a rodent in your kitchen and then become distracted by an insect crawling across your counter top. Well lets just say your dinner is not likely to be enjoyed by me. I do not trust that any meal prepared in such a location would be safe for me to eat. If you choose to speak loudly, to constantly use vulgarity or to dress provocatively well you have attracted attention but not trust in your knowledge and abilities.

We can no longer take our lead from the antics of reality TV or the so-called "bad girls" or "bad boys" who manage success despite their inconsiderate attitudes, self promoting actions, vulgar posturing and all around bad behavior. There are certain rules of interaction with the world around us that we have forgotten. Once thought of as oppressive these rules are really what makes or breaks our ability to achieve success.